“Wade?” Peter called out into the dark and empty living room that he had to break into. The windows and doors had been boarded up, and not well either. Well, they were good enough to hold against someone who didn’t have super strength but Peter also risked stabbing himself on nails and getting tetanus several times because apparently Wade didn’t know how to use a hammer and nails.
“Hey! Wilson!” The teen called again, stepping carefully along the questionable floor. If he didn’t stick to everything already, and wasn’t wearing his suit, he would definitely be concerned about how shiny the floor looked - probably spilled liquor. Not to mention the ridiculous mess of broken furniture, broken bottles, stacks of newspapers that hadn’t been unrolled - save for the few that had news about Deadpool that Peter could see lingering on the couch - and a large pile of pancakes in the corner that was definitely growing a sentient being.
Peter cautiously made his way to Wade’s bedroom, bypassing the bathroom completely because the last time he’d seen the state of that he… he honestly didn’t want to talk about it. Ever.
Turning the knob hard enough to break the lock, Peter pushed the door open, “Wade, where were you three hours- OH GOD DAMN IT!”
IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS, ARRA DOES THIS, A LOT.
I’ll just continue sitting here making these god awful noises, although I love that Peter was finally like alright yeah let’s do this and can we talk about:
“How about I tenderize your face?”
“I could tenderize your meat with my face.”
I AM ALL LEVELS OF DONE. I AM OUT. GOODBYE FRIENDS ARRA HAS BECOME MY DOWNFALL.
So today is Rachel’s birthday. The lovely Rachel. My [former] jailbait. To think… I never used to ship spideypool, never thought that it would work. Then I met Rachel and it all went down hill from there, devolving into so much porn.
These next 4400 words of Spideypool porn are for you, you terrible terrible person <3
“Figures,” Peter grumbled under his breath as he glanced down at his phone for the fiftieth time that evening. No new messages, no missed calls, no activity what-so-ever. Peter hadn’t expected the surprise party when he came home, that could be said by the fact that he had to hastily stuff his Spider-man mask into his bookbag while everyone finished yelling “SURPRISE” at him at the top of their voices, in unison. Surprise parties were more startling than that nudist back robber he took down that morning… that was traumatizing to say the least.
Though Peter had specifically told Aunt May, Gwen and Harry that he did not want a party for his eighteenth birthday, it had turned out to be a rather fun evening. Plenty of people were there despite Peter’s lack of a social life at school or anywhere else. Aunt May and Gwen spent most of the day baking his birthday cake as well as other snacks for the guests, and dinner that thankfully wasn’t meatloaf.
The only problem was… Wade had not turned up.
I am dead. Because Arra knows me way too well and knew that this would kill me and is probably laughing because I’m an absolute legal incoherent mess and oh my god
let’s just talk about the little things like Wade cleaning a room for peter because that’s actually huge like woah
and then the banner “Congratulations On Not Being Jailbait Anymore” made me fucking scream THAT IS EXACTLY HOW HE WOULD VIEW IT.
THEN THE PORN. SWEET MOTHER OF GOD ARRA YOUR PORN IN MY FAVORITE AND THEN WADE WAS LIKE YOU’RE A BIG BOY NOW THINGS ARE DIFFERENT I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD IS HE—HE IS. HE LET PETER FUCK HIM AND I WAS LIKE MY GOD THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED AND THEN WADE FUCKING HIMSELF BECAUSE THAT’S ONE OF MY KINKS AND JUST THE WAY YOU WRITE THINGS ARE REALLY VIVID AND LOVELY AND SENSATION ORIENTED SO I JUST DIED A LITTLE IS ALL.
Thank you so much, darling <3 you have no idea how much this means to me, I loved it so much.
you’re going to call me not-jailbait now aren’t you
“Yo! Spidey!” Wade called from the end of the alleyway where Peter had finished webbing a couple thugs to the wall before they could blow up the wall of a bank - as though they would have gotten very far anyway.
Peter sighed, shooting a web over the mouth of the last thug, “Not now Wade.”
“Aww come on, don’t you want to put your sticky hands to good use?” Wade sidled up behind Peter, hands around his waist with only the thin membrane of spandex between them.
“Dude, I am working right now.” Peter chided, pushing back but not actually trying to dislodge the mercenary from his person.
Wade eyed up the webbed men. “Looks like you’re finished. Stamp your card and call it a day… either that or I could find some work for you. It’s a bit dirty but-“
“Fuck you!” A man from the street yelled, a small pebble bouncing past their feet. Both men, superhero and anti-hero, turned to see a man glaring at them. “I don’t believe in spideypool! You’re both disgusting!”
Peter narrowed his eyes behind his mask, questioning the man’s harsh and uncalled for words. “What the hell is spideypool?” He whispered over his shoulder to Wade who still kept a firm hold on the younger man’s waist.
“I think that’s us… Spidey-man and Deadpool. We’re a ship!” Wade grinned.
“The hell is a ship?”
“It’s a fandom thing, I’ll explain later, you won’t understand though it’s not really addressed in the comics, not overtly.”
“Hey, don’t make fun of the fact that I read comics.”
“Not what I was-“
“Spideypool isn’t real to me! It shouldn’t exist and it’s annoying to see it on my streets!” The man hollered again despite the fact that Wade and Peter had forgotten his presence, as it wasn’t pertinent in their lives.
“Then close your eyes.” Wade called back, settling his head on Peter’s neck. “How is my theoretical relationship with Spider-man any of your business? Now put your hate away and carry on with your non-heroic life citizen.”
this is by far the best response to the hate in the tag in the history of ever, Arra, ahhhh so much love for you yes goood
I miss my babies;; top!Peter, bratty!Wade, and fluffy, fluff, fluff smut.
Quick 30 minute drabble before I go work on real things.
Peter thinks that Wade might be serious this time, when he hisses that he’s going to kill him and damn it Peter, stop. Because he’s straining against the grip on his wrists desperately and it’s not often that Wade is rendered helpless and that might scare the hell out of him, but the thing that terrifies him more is that Peter is ignoring him as he shakes and threatens him with a hint of a quiver to his voice.
It’s just enough that he can pick up on it, just a twinge of fear to his tone. Because Wade isn’t afraid of things, but Peter’s mouth on his skin slow like a flame lapping at his flesh, a slow, burn, it terrifies him. He had told him not to, and he reminds him again with a buck up his hips and tells him that he’s going to break his fingers, the ones that are languidly dancing down his stomach while his other hand grips Wade’s wrists above his head.
Peter is far too flexible for his own good, which is useful when Wade has him contorted into ungodly positions for him to fuck him into, but right now, he’s able to curve and bend his body to reach the expanse of Wade’s body; all of the scarred skin, to see all of him at once.
“Wade, please!” Peter gasped, arching up on the bed, desperate for Wade’s body to cover his own, eager for his hands to return to his overheated skin. Wade had teased him all night long. He had been on the edge for so long that he didn’t know which direction was blue and which colors were east. Peter was sweating profusely, he was tugging on the ropes that had been expertly tied – he expected nothing less from the mercenary – with one of the toughest ropes he’d found. Peter had been pulling hard and still only managed to loosen them slightly, but not enough to escape. This had been intended. They both wanted Peter to remain stationary. It was more exciting that way.
[He’s begging you man, give him what he wants.]
“I think we should make him wait a bit longer.” Wade may have been speaking to the little voices in his head but he was speaking directly to Peter with a deep, fervent voice that set Peter’s nerves on fire. It didn’t help that his eyes, staring directly into Peter’s, were filled with indecent promises that caused the younger’s body to flush with need.
“No!” Peter whined, twisting in his restraints. He was going mad, his patience had burned up hours ago it seemed and if he didn’t get release soon… “Please, I need you. I can’t take it, please!”
Did you hear that?
That is the sound of my head thudding against my desk because I can’t breathe dear god help me Arra no, Arra what are you doing I was like OH YES GOOD SMUT UNNFF wait what—and oh my god it’s like when you sent me over 50 different words for vagina and i’m gonna cry no